List of top 10 excuses for loosing a game of chess:

1. Dog ate score sheet;
2. Dead batteries in hidden transmitter;
3. Went outside for fresh air, forgot about tournament;
4. Disturbed by own reflection in opponent’s sunglasses;
5. Still despondent over 1964 death of Fred Reinfeld;
6. Inexplicably confused ECO A29 line 13 note 87c with ECO A13 line note 87c; lost queen;
7. Unlucky pairing with historical nemesis G. Kasparov;
8. During play, pondered both sides of ICC controversy; lost on time;
9. Studied book *How to Beat Bobby Fischer*; was unprepared for other opponents;
10. After making move, accidentally punched opponent instead of clock.

Humor by Don Scoones